Kissing Conundrums
by MsBlackOut
Summary: Marinette's love life keeps hitting the same snag, every time she makes out with a guy she's dating, he quickly decides to end things. She's still pondering the possible catalyst of her kissing conundrum when she rocks up for patrol as Ladybug. Of course, a concerned Chat Noir is all too keen to help her out of her bind.


Marinette couldn't believe it had happened again. Tapping the screen of her phone she looked at the text she'd just received. _Sorry babe, it's just not working out. I think it's best if we don't see each other anymore._ Andre was the fifth guy she'd dated over the last six months and like all the guys before him, he'd decided to break up with her after a major make out session.

The girl was starting to get a complex. Was she that bad at kissing? She was about to ask Tikki, not that there was much point since she had no idea if kwamis actually kissed, but her alarm sounded to tell her it was time for patrol. With a groan, Marinette called upon her transformation and trudged into the night as Ladybug.

Normally the thrill of bounding across the rooftops brought a smile to her face, but not tonight. Doubt clouded her mind. What was it about her kissing style that put guys off? Was she too restrained? Too eager? Did she use too much tongue too quickly? As she reached the meeting point she slumped to the rooftop edge and dangled her legs over the side.

Thinking back, Ladybug tried to analyse each of the kisses that preluded each break up. She was so lost in thought that she didn't hear the quiet thud of her partner's arrival. It was only when he sat down beside her that she jumped out of her musings. "Chat, oh hi."

A smirk spread across his face at her reaction. "You seem surprised. Did you think you were patrolling alone tonight?"

"No," she grumbled, "I was lost in thought."

"And what has you so engrossed? Is it thoughts of me?" His smile exposed his pearly whites.

Ladybug shook her head and rolled her eyes. "To be honest I don't think you'd want to be part of my current train of thought."

"Oh really, why is that?"

She shifted to sit cross-legged and looked at her ankles. Did she dare tell Chat Noir what was troubling her? "I don't know if I should tell you."

Black masked eyebrows lifted high. "Now I'm really intrigued. Come on bugaboo, you can't leave me hanging."

Dropping her forehead into her gloved hand, Ladybug glanced sideways at her partner. "Promise me you won't laugh."

The curious expression on his face became bemused. "I promise I won't laugh."

Sucking in a deep breath that did little to calm her jittery nerves, Ladybug began. "Over the last six months I've dated five guys."

"All at once?" Interrupted Chat Noir, looking aghast.

Ladybug punched his shoulder none too lightly. "No, you dolt. You didn't let me finish."

"Sorry," he said as he rubbed his bicep. "Continue."

"Anyway, each time I get to a… um… certain point in a relationship with a guy, he ends up dumping me."

Chat Noir was bristling. "You mean they dump you after they've, they've… had their way with you?"

Throwing her head back and smacking her own forehead, Ladybug growled at her partner. "No! What kind of a girl do you think I am?"

"Well, 'certain point' isn't very clear and I know some guys only want girls for one thing, so I assumed-"

"You assumed incorrectly." Curling her fists tight and clenching her jaw, she scrunched her eyes closed before blurting out, "They dump me after they make out with me, so I must really suck at kissing."

"Oh," Chat Noir said as he eyed her sideways with an assessing glint.

"What?"

"I was just thinking."

"And?" she said with raised palms, urging him to continue.

Chat Noir rubbed his hands down his thighs to his knees. "Sucking isn't necessarily a bad thing with kissing."

"I didn't mean literally!"

"I know," he smirked as he dodged another punch to his arm. "What I'm trying to say is maybe you just need to work on your technique."

"And how am I supposed to do that?"

"Practice."

Ladybug's eyes narrowed. "I'd ask with whom but I think I already know your answer."

Chat Noir leant towards her and grinned. "I'm happy to offer myself, for as much practice as you so desire."

"One kiss, and you might run away with the rest of them." She groaned as she crossed her arms. An idea popped into her head as she glanced slyly at her partner. "Hmm, if my kissing is that terrible, maybe you'll stop flirting after I lay one on you."

"Doubtful," purred Chat Noir, shuffling closer. "I like a challenge."

Blue eyes scrutinised his face for a long moment. "Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you."

The smug expression dropped from Chat Noir's face. He was flabbergasted. "You're serious, you'd kiss me?"

"For practice purposes only."

He swallowed, and a fragile light of hope shone in his eyes. "Go ahead."

Ladybug placed her hands on either side of his face and stared at him with uncertainty. She broke eye contact first and sighed, "This is too weird."

"Why?"

"Because there's usually a lead up to a kiss, something romantic has to happen that makes you want to kiss the person you're with." She started to drop her hands from his face, but he snagged her wrists, holding her captive.

"Ladybug, we've been together for years." His voice sounded smooth and calming. "You know me, I know you. There isn't anyone else I've ever wanted to kiss more than you." He redirected her hands to his shoulders, placing them gently around his neck, then dropped one of his arms to circle her waist. His other hand lifted to cup her cheek. "You're the most beautiful person I know, inside and out. I've yearned to kiss you for so long, will you do me the honour?"

Wide eyes blinked slowly as his words sunk in. Ladybug's hand went to his nape and she crashed her mouth against his. The clink of their teeth hitting had him pulling away.

"Does that happen often?" he asked as he rubbed his incisors.

Ladybug grimaced, "Sometimes."

"Okay, you need to take things slower. Savour the moment, don't rush it like a bull at a gate."

With a begrudging look to the sky she nodded. "Alright."

"Don't get me wrong, I like that you're eager."

"Shut up, Chat."

He took her chin between his fingers, "Make me."

This time Ladybug eased in and brushed her lips against his. In return he nibbled kisses along her bottom lip and caress her top lip with his tongue. Following his lead, she replicated the move and Chat Noir let out a rumble of approval. With the flick of his tongue, he followed the seam of her lips, gently prying them open to draw in her bottom lip and suck on it briefly. Again, she copied his move.

Chat Noir twisted his body to face her directly, then he clutched her about the waist and lifted her onto his lap. Ladybug pulled back to look at him. "What are you doing?" she asked with hesitation in her voice.

"How we were sitting was a little awkward, this is much better." She eyed him sceptically. "It is!"

"Maybe we should stop." She started to pull away from him, but he tightened his grip.

"No, no, no. Not yet, we haven't even gotten to open mouth kisses." The rising panic evident in his eyes had her lifting a masked eyebrow. "Please? I'm just trying to help."

"Fine," she huffed and blew her fringe from her eyes.

"You're so cute when you pout."

"Not helping, Chat Noir."

"Sorry, I'll shut up."

This time he initiated the kiss, dipping his face to capture her lips, his tongue coaxing her to open and he gently probed her mouth. Ladybug attempted a similar move, but Chat Noir almost gagged on the amount of tongue she shoved into his mouth. "Whoa," he said as he sat back. "Too much."

Ladybug let out an exasperated snort. "I _am_ rubbish at this."

"I think you're trying too hard. Picture it like dancing, you need to learn to waltz before you tango. You're aiming for the slow burn, gradually stoking your partner's excitement until it is a wild inferno, but don't start with the inferno."

Letting out a deep sigh, Ladybug dropped her head. "So, I really am terrible at kissing."

"What's terrible is that no one has had the guts to help you improve." Chat Noir poked her arm with the pad his index finger. "Aren't you lucky you have me?"

She gave him a droll look, "Utterly."

"Your enthusiasm warms the cockles of my heart." His eyes rolled with exasperation.

"I'm sure it does."

"Back to kissing. Stoke my fire." Ladybug groaned irritably but cradled his face. "That look is bound to put out my fire. Come on, show me your smoulder."

"You want my smoulder, huh?" The eagerness in his eyes was all the answer she needed, so she reverted to her teenage years and looked at him with the devouring gaze she'd previously saved for posters of Adrien Agreste. The look alone had Chat Noir purring, and she hadn't even kissed him. "You like that, kitty?"

His reply was hoarse, "Yes." The tone of his voice sounded foreign to her. This was new. She was definitely doing something right.

Tilting her head, she closed the distance between them, placing her lips against his as she spoke. "Do you like this?"

"Yes," he growled.

She pressed her lips to his tenderly, brushing her tongue over his bottom lip before pulling it into her mouth and gently scraping her teeth on his skin before letting go. Ladybug sank her fingers into the hair at his nape and urged his mouth open so she could circle her tongue from top lip to bottom.

Chat Noir's embrace tightened, and the sudden vigour in his kiss moved her to giggling. "What happened to the waltz?" she asked between smooches.

"Fire stoked, slow dancing achieved. We're moving to tango."

"But I might want to leave it, so I can tango with someone else."

The purring abruptly stopped. "I'm your partner," he snarled. "No one but me."

His possessive tone should have surprised her, yet it didn't. Chat Noir had been calling her his lady for years. "Chat, I was kidding. No need to get jealous."

"You're suggesting you want another guy while you're kissing me, of course I'm going to get jealous." His body tensed with anger. Ladybug worried she'd gone too far.

"This was supposed to be practice," she deflected lamely. "Besides we're supposed to be patrolling."

Annoyance lit Chat Noir's face as he calmed down. "There was an akuma attack yesterday. Do you really think anything will happen tonight?"

"Probably not, but I didn't come here with the intention of kissing you." She went to stand up, but her partner held her in place.

His eyes implored her to stay, adjusting his tactics to woo her. "I think about kissing you all the time. Let's finish what we've started."

Frowning, Ladybug eventually conceded. "Okay but this is just practice." This was a dangerous game, making her feel guilty, and yet she didn't want it to be over.

Chat Noir didn't respond with words, instead his lips found hers and he kissed her with such tenderness that when she closed her eyes she melted into the moment. Her fingers found their way into his messy hair, clinging tightly to him as his mouth caressed hers with increasing urgency.

Caught in the moment, Ladybug let her impulses guide her. This time, when her tongue entered his mouth she was greeted with a moan of encouragement. She felt the stroke of his tongue against hers and together they learned to move in a more coordinated and rewarding fashion. In battle the pair had a refined synergy that made them formidable. That same skill began to mould itself into this new facet of their partnership. It was intoxicating.

Ladybug was so lost in Chat Noir that she didn't notice his guidance in lying them down. She was vaguely aware of his hand hooking under her knee to drape her leg over his. The need to be closer to him overrode everything else. It was only when he rolled her to lay supine and the weight of his body pressed down on hers that she became aware of just how entangled they were. How it would soon go too far to stop.

With her last shred of self-restraint, Ladybug laid a hand against her partner's chest. He didn't get the message, so she had to forcefully shove him away before he realised she wanted him to stop. Panting heavily, Chat Noir's eyes took a moment to refocus from his lust-induced haze. "What's wrong?" For him, it was oh-so-right.

"I'm pretty sure more than the tango has been achieved." Her voice shook with nervousness despite her best efforts to subdue his, not entirely unwelcome, effect on her.

"We should continue to make sure."

"Chat Noir, practice is over." She was almost pleading. "We need to patrol."

"No, I need to take you on a date." This response startled her, but also brought on a slight blush.

"What for?" she squeaked out.

"To prove that your kissing conundrum is over because I can assure you there will be no breaking up on my part. Sixth time is the charm, right?"

Ladybug shook her head but couldn't contain her amused smile. "Would it break your heart to know I was thinking about Adrien Agreste when I gave you my smoulder."

A smug look settled on Chat Noir's face. "No, milady, now let me show you why."

And with that, Chat Noir dropped his transformation and Ladybug stared at him with widening eyes. Scarlet gloved hands grabbed the white sleeves of his shirt, confirming he was real. Ladybug sucked in a shuddering breath and asked with an incredulous gasp, "How's Friday?"

Adrien Agreste nodded enthusiastically, " _Purr_ fect." Then Ladybug tackled him and the kissing resumed.

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 **Cheers for reading, reviewing, favouriting and following. Your support is always appreciated :) I hope you got a laugh out of it.**

 **A big thanks to Elise-Collier for editing support on this one.**


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